I'm already home.

Warning: This is a pretty buzzed post. Yes, I know it’s 1PM. I came home and there was good movies on tv and mass laundry to be sorted and I made myself a drink…at 1030am. I was going to thus add “in my defense…” but then I realized that I’m adult and I don’t owe a bit of explanation for a personal blog post. It’s like writing in a notebook but with keystrokes. I never liked that word “keystrokes”. I’m not stroking these…I’m tapping them. I’ll be key-tapping the rest of this entry. 

Has anyone else seen the footage of London from 1927? It’s amazing. And can we talk about how so many people wore hats then? I def feel like I’m not wearing enough hats on a regular basis. It’s Summer almost and I don’t like to brush my hair anyway so hats seem like a thing that should be in my life. 

Summer. It’s a time I always thrive in. It’s a time when I used to collect admirers and late nights. But now I’m with my lobster and it’s confusing for the inside parts of me. I woke up at my apartment this morn and didn’t know I wasn’t at her place. Her place feels like home to me. Because it has her energy and probably because I spend so much time there hearting her. I mean, I’m comfortable in my apartment…but I can feel that it is missing the things I have come to love the most. 

I think I’d like to categorize the rest of this post. It will allow me to keep a better record of things via this entry. I think it’s important to document where I am right now…as if I’m going to forget…as if I need to organize it…

~ Work: D is really stepping up. I can tell he’s running and hitting a wall because of it. I did the same thing last Summer when I was doing it all myself. But I also feel like he’s right on the cusp of getting that ‘work high’…where you run on pure adrenaline and excitement because you realize you can work longer and harder than you thought. It’s nice for that to not be me this year…working 40-45 hours a week is insanely liberating. The amount of free time I have is jarring and I haven’t quite known what to do with it since we made D the Ops dude. 

~ #Boopants …my lobster is whatever 10 X adequate is. She’s perfect for me and to me. Our crazy compliments each other’s strengths and I just fucking can’t believe that she exists…and that I’m lucky enough to have her anywhere near me. 

~ Family. What a weird word to me now. Family only means the friends I have collected that mean so very much. (In no particular order) One of my L’s has been so distant because of her life of kids and career…I just texted her today about catching up. I’ve known her since 1st grade and it’s important to me to be a part of her hopeful life. My other L is coming to see me on Thursday night…I. Can’t. Fucking. Wait. We have ushered each other into a second adulthood and it is so very important to support one another in lives that we never expected. Divorced and happier than we thought was possible…we are becoming the best versions of ourselves. My other L is still a bit agoraphobic and I haven’t seen her in months even though she’s 3.8 miles from my house. I’m her tech support and her pal…she is older and bogged down by things I hope I never have to deal with. She is strong and I hope to support her. My other L is becoming a champ at work and a champ at marriage…and a champ at making me laugh when work punches me in the face. Maybe, the next time I meet a possible friend who’s name starts with L, I should say I’m sorry, I can’t be your friend as I’m full on L magic but I hope you find your R soon. 

~ Cashes. I’m getting out of debt on a steady basis…slow…and steady. I drunk shop and spend half of what I would have. Last time I bought Pumas was in the outlet with my boo. I feel myself digging out of bad decisions and it’s as scary as it is exhilarating. (I had to Googs how to spell that.)

~ Other things and stuff. I’m a little chubs…like on the level that the Daisy Fuentes line at Kohls only fits me on certain days. I can’t walk here in the city. There is traffic and rain and predictable lanes. But, there are trails and bikes and powerwalking and girlfriends and Summer. I have confidence that Summer will yield physical activity…but without the mountains…will it matter? When I walked in Abq, I knew that I was unstoppable…here in Indy, I feel half motivated and half give- up-pants. I miss nature. I miss the smell of sassafras. 

No more words, that is all, etc.

#Jack #hearts #HarryPotter #Shelbs #life

nickelbackthatassup:

when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”

The kind of parent I hope to be. 

(via ilovegreyzanatomyforevercalzona)

thecompanionsdoctor:

My week is basically:

• Monday
• Monday #2
• Monday #3
• Monday #4
• Friday
• Saturday
• Pre-Monday

(via tastefullyoffensive)

I love my girlfriend. I love her cooking and they way it smells when she’s mixing things I don’t understand. I love her apron and her shorts. I love her magic. 

#heartsalldayerrrryday